Racist Racine Cops

Another Milwaukee story came to mind when talking with a group of friends a couple weeks ago...

I can't believe I never shared this one!!

This story took place Summer 09' with my co-worker and friend Jenna. 

See, one of the many job titles I and Jenna had in MKE was to find new business for the company we worked for. So one day, our boss informed us we would be going to Chicago, and literally, go business to bussiness (mainly banks) and inform them of our services, and how we could better their bad spanish POS materials.

This would be a one day trip into the big city. Leaving in the morning, and returning before 6 pm.

We would rent a sweet white Chevy cobalt from the airport, and take it from there.

Everything was going great. Jenna and I were pumped to spend the day together, out of the office, and driving around the big city.

The day went by pretty quick... we did our jobs, and got on the highway to head back to good ol' Milwaukee. As we approached Racine, we noticed there was bumper-to-bumper traffic. There was no way we would make it to Milwaukee before 6pm when the car was due to be returned!

I asked if we should take the streets north, and follow the highway, to try to avoid this mess. She agreed it was a better idea. 

I jumped off the highway, and continued on my merry way.

At one point of this small, desolate, farm town, I did not notice the speed limit was 30 MPH, and I was stopped by an unmarked police car, parked outside a convenience store (like in the movies) looking out to an empty field.

I saw him turn on his lights, and my heart sank. SHIT. I’m getting a speeding ticket. I knew I was going over 30 MPH, I just never saw the sign that said the speed limit had dropped.

I pull over. He comes around to my window and asks me if I knew why I was stopped. I said: " I assume speeding." He says yes, and asks to see my license and registration. 

I hand him my Florida ID, and the rental car contract. 

He walks back to his car - and runs all the information.

He returns to my window with a puzzled look, and looks to Jenna (white girl) and asks to see her ID. She hands it to him.

He asks me if I am Hispanic. I say yes. Then he asks me why my last name is German. I explain the story. Then he asks me where I live. I say Milwaukee. Then he asks me why - I explain for a job (and hand him a business card)

He then proceeds to ask if we have drugs in the car.

<< I am in SHOCK>> 

No. Why would we have drugs? It's a rental! We are on business!

He asks: If I were to open the trunk right now, would I find anything?

I look at him dead in the eye, and say: I hope not! This isn’t my car. And if you find something, it's not ours.

(I say this, because on a trip to California with my mother, we also got pulled over, and I found marijuana in the glove compartment)

He returns to his car. I guess to call the rental agency. And our jobs?

He returns and says:

"Well this is the problem ladies:

Your ID is from FLORIDA

You live in WISCONSIN

The car is registered in CHICAGO

And your tag is registered to a DODGE CARAVAN not a CHEVY COBALT.

So... This all seems VERY SUSPICIOUS. And many Hispanics traffic drugs in rentals from Chicago to MILWAUKEE"

I explain to him i don't work at AVIS and I'm not sure how this is all my problem?

<< I’m so nervous, I'm laughing>>

Jenna I think is in shock

And start planning my first and only phone call in jail.

He smiles and agrees to let us go ticket free. I don't know why he didn't give me a ticket - i WAS speeding. 

After I thanked him, I asked what the fastest way to get to the airport was. No lie. 

Jenna laughed.

He smiled.

We got back on the highway.

And I ripped AVIS a new one.

Mamma Mia!

Moms. They are special. But mine takes the cake. I'm sure of this.

See.. My mom and I have this odd relationship... the kind that's not really mother daughter... more like friends.

We plan outings, usually around drinks. Okay, not usually, ALWAYS around drinks.
She loves to go out ... and she never misses a good party.

That's why, when my best friend called her to invite her to his going away party this last weekend, I knew she would not miss it for the world.

The night started off like any other, David and I got ready, and we swung by her place to pick her up. Luckily, she's only a few buildings away, so carpooling is never an issue.

We got together around 8 pm, and headed out.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by LARGE solo cups of Whiskey on the rocks (for her), Beer (for David) and Vodka on the rocks for me.

Things would go downhill  - fast. It was only 8:45 pm.

By the 3rd LARGE RED SOLO CUP. We were already getting louder than usual, and making unnecessary comments. The inappropriate ones people make when under the influence.

At around 10 pm... my mother locks eyes with a friend and ex childhood (15 years ago) boyfriend (of 2 months) who was at the party to wish his childhood friend - David - goodbye.

He and I hadn't seen each other in OVER 5 years. He's now married, to a wonderful girl and together, they have a beautiful little 2 year old girl. As we are all catching up, sharing stories from the past, enjoying the evening, laughing... my mother decides to contribute to the story by also sharing a story -- and asks in her loudest voice (still in front of his wife and other friends, including my current fiancee)

"REMEMBER WHEN YOU CAME OVER THE APARTMENT, AND YOU AND STEPHANIE WENT DOWNSTAIRS, AND I COULDN'T FIND YOU, SO I HAD TO USE A FLASHLIGHT TO CHECK ALL THE PARKS, AND FINALLY FOUND BOTH OF YOU HIDING IN A SLIDE AT THE PARK?"

He turns pale.

I am mortified.

1. who says a story like that.
2. how is this appropriate?
3. WHAT THE FUCK
4. No one remembers what she's talking about.

He looks at her dead in the eye, and says: "I'm sorry I have no clue Patty."

I look at him and her, and say: Mom, I don't know what you are talking about, and IMMEDIATELY change the subject to Gainesville and our group adventures.

This party has made me realize that the older people get, the less filter they have. Especially when drinking.

This isn't the first, or last time she will embarrass me. She did something similar on my birthday where she called one person fat and told another couple their "future" the whole night.

ayyyy, la patty. 

give me patience dear lord.

Also - HEADS UP to any ex that runs into my mom, be prepared to be embarrassed by some inappropriate story. It's part of the deal.

My bad.

OPA! I was robbed.

Miami Beach -
Sunny place. Shady people.

They say that about Florida in general, but I feel that saying is more appropriate on the beach.

If you grow up in South Florida, you know that there are multiple FREE events, openings and promotions you can attend - pretty much ANY DAY and EVERY day of the week, reducing your spending to about -$0- which is GREAT especially if you are a college student.

Well, That was my life in 2003. I was an event hopper. I was invited to any and all events, mostly because of lists I would put my name on. I would spend months hopping from event to event, Monday- Saturday.. not spending a dime. It was pretty great. Not gonna lie. I wish I still had the energy to do that.

Anyway, this story takes place on the night that OPA Taverna was set to open up in Miami Beach. For those who don't know what that is - It's a Greek restaurant where people throw plates and dance on tables when you eat.
It's great place for a first date. Loud and Obnoxious.

I went with 3 friends - Denise, Ana and Mandy - We all hopped in my little beetle, and drove off to the event that was hosted by Ocean Drive Mag and promised to have free entrance and free drinks.

I parked the car on 100 and Collins, got out, locked the car and began walking down the street towards the restaurant. At that exact moment, my cell phone rang. I open my clutch, take out the phone, and place the clutch, OPEN, under my arm again - At this point the group was walking in front of me, because I'm slow, and was multi-tasking.

I had noticed a young man behind me when I got out of the car, but didn't think anything of him.

As i place the purse under my arm, I hear running behind me and feel the guy PULL the purse out from under me!

I COULDN'T believe it! I immediately started running after him, in HEELS! YELLING to drop the purse and that i was going to kill him! There was no money in the purse! All there was - was an ID and my debit card. My friends started yelling at that point to stop running, that he might have a gun and they started running too! We caused such a commotion!

I was never able to catch up to him (smoking is bad - don't do it)

He jumped into a ford focus hatch back, and drove off.

I was in tears. Mostly because I was FURIOUS! I was left with my cell phone in hand my friend had picked up my CAR KEYS which had flown out of my purse that was still open when he stole it.

I immediately called to cancel my debit card. So they were unable to use it.

Luckily, people sitting at the restaurant outside of 100 and Collins saw all this, and WROTE down the license plate number of car.

Police were called, and we were asked to drive to the police station for questioning and to look through 23456789 mug shots.

We must have spent what felt like 4 hours there.

No drinks. No party. No nothing.

I was so upset by the time I left the police station, I took my police report in hand, got in my car with my friends, and went to Purdy lounge. My Police report was the only thing i had on me - and it was my only tool for free drinks from the bar tender.

Yes, I was just robbed. Yes, I still went out.

The rest of the case went pretty smoothly. The kids were caught, they each (3) paid me $310.00. And I was able to by a new LV clutch.

The kid that robbed me was in the US illegally and unfortunately had himself and his family deported because of his actions.

<<lesson learned>>

5 years ago I was in a short film

This is true.

I was in a 10 minute short film.

I want to do this again at some point in my life. I really enjoyed it.
Can't believe it's been 5 YEARS!!!
sheesh...

See it here!
My oscar winning role

Dreams really do come true in Disney World

For many years now, I have been going to Disney World in Florida with Family and Friends. Usually for food and Wine fest, or a random birthday celebration.  As a kid, I always loved going to Disney, and was mesmerized by all the characters and how real they all looked. As an Adult, i became mesmerized with how many drinks i could drink at the World showcase without falling over, or puking before I got to England. Clearly, priority's shift as an adult.


Two weeks ago, I took a week long trip to Disney to celebrate my 30th birthday. As part of my party, I brought my best friend, my mom, my friend from Atl and BF along for the adventure.

I am surprised to say, the trip went pretty smoothly, until New Years Eve.

Before leaving Miami, we planned to spend the New Year at Epcot. In the morning my friend said to me, I'm going to kiss a Disney princess today, if it's the last thing i do. David and I smiled and laughed.. and didn't think much of it. Disney is super strict, and that WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.

When we arrived to Epcot the day on New Years, and when we got there we realized we all had annual passes except one person, so we were not allowed in at 8 pm.. so we switched our plan, and went to Boardwalk Disney, to the Atlantic Dance Club instead.


For the low price of $35.00 a person, we entered a dance club that was guaranteed to be open past 2 am, and showed large videos on the dance floor Drinks were moderately inexpensive.. and the chugging of what i consider devil juice (vodka mixed with Monster energy drink) began. Shots were taken in between these deviled drinks.

By around 11 pm, I was dancing the night away, knocking into people, spilling drinks, hugging randoms and making possible future friends. I was out of control.

The seal had been broken since about 9:30pm, so my trips to the bathroom at this point had become VERY frequent.

On one of my trips, I come out and see a BEAUTIFUL, little, blond, perfectly presented princess. YES PRINCESS. She had flawless skin, and had make-up that you would only see in Disney World. She was dressed in her new years attire, was very quiet, and didn't look anyone in the eye, as she quietly washed her hands.

I had to talk to her.

"Hello" i said, as i approached her at the sink.

now. Picture Snow whites voice in the movie. This is EXACTLY what she sounds like "Hello" she replies.

OMG. she works at Disney. I know she does. Shes a CAST MEMBER. i must be her FRIEND. The devil juice is telling me i MUST be her friend!

"Here, let me get the door for you" I say, as i rush to the door to hold it open.

<<Disney voice>> "Thank you"

I follow her out of the bathroom, all the way to the dance floor where she is greeted by 3 REALLY BIG GIRLS (young, just REALLY strange... looked like the 3 evil step sisters, no lie), they def were NOT Disney cast members.  Anyway, i introduce myself to them. YES, i introduce myself to her friends.

I straight out ask: "Excuse me,  Does she work at Disney? Her make up is FLAWLESS!"

They laugh, and say - "yes, she is snow white"

" NO WAY!" I respond.

I look to the dance floor, and i see a tall man, with hair slicked back, talking to her, telling her he must leave. Snow white looks sad.

"Who's that?" i ask the 3 ugly girls.

"That's her Boyfriend, he's also a cast member, he's Cinderella's prince, they just started dating, but he's a real ass to her, he came to say hi, but he's leaving the party."

I'm floored! this is REAL LIFE DISNEY playing itself out like a MOVIE in front of MY EYES!

I have to find David and my friend Rodrigo. They will never believe this.

I run to them and start telling them what I'm witnessing.

I bring them to the dance floor so they can see it for themselves.

I start trying to get Snow White to drink, she refuses. She doesn't drink. I don't understand!!! Shes not on the job! She's not even in costume! Why doesn't she drink????

She just doesn't drink. BLAH.

I go for the friends. They do drink. I get in good with them.

the rest of the night is a COMPLETE BLURR.

All I do know is that, when midnight struck, my friend went up to her, grabbed her, and planted a kiss on her. His wish came true.

(i found this out the next day)


i love Disney world. Dreams do come true for everyone.