Luckily for me and my best friend, for about 2-3 years of our lives we made friends with Miami Police, 2 cops to be exact. We would call them in advance to let them know where we would be going (usually Firehouse) and they would bring us Bacardi, which we would sit in the back of the cop car to drink before we even walked in the club.
You saved us lots of money! Thank you Miami Police!
Anyway, I must admit, they were nice cops, they always had our backs. At one point, my best friends Fake ID was taken at Mr. Moes in the grove, and he went out of his way to CALL the cop that had taken it, and picked it up for her at Bayside, where the cop would work during the day. Thanks Mr officer, now we could get back to going out sans problems! What a sweet guy!
I wonder where he is now....
So... Firehouse Brickell... Firehouse for those that don't know, was a club that was created in the same location as the original Brickell Firehouse (where fire fighters worked). They took the structure and made different rooms with different types of music in each room. Currently, this location is known as Dolores but you can call me Lolita.
This was my favorite place to go on Fridays. It was a guaranteed good time. I would drink endlessly, and be less than a mile from home. And if things got bad, the cops would take me home if I really needed their help! Perfect situation for an 18-20 year old.
I must admit, when I was younger I did not know how to handle my liquor. I would drink t'ill the world was blurry. And this is what happens when you do that....
It was a typical Friday night. The vodka cranberry OJ mixed with bacardi from earlier, and most likely many shots was already in my system. It's time to use the bathroom.
As I walk in, there is a line. There was always a line. And women take FOREVER. I mean, really, I don't get why women take so long to pee!
So I'm in line, and to my left there is a wall size mirror where I see a girl is applying red lipstick. In my opinion, she was a bit too pale for the lipstick, but what do I know? Who am I to judge.
I see her applying the gloss carefully on her lips, super up close to the mirror as if she was blind, and had no idea where her lips were.
At this time, I get a full view of her and realize - she has lipstick on her forehead! Maybe she IS blind! Maybe she really can't find her lips! I need to inform her that she has missed her lips and has gotten this really red lip gloss on her forehead and she cannot go back outside or she will be ridiculed by the drunken masses!
<< I'm such a good friend! Always looking out >>
I tap her on the shoulder and yell (i'm sure i can't hear myself)
"Excuse me, Umm... You have lip gloss on your forehead"
--- Silence, eye roll, she looks like she's about to punch me ---
She replies: "It's a birthmark"
((Insert cricket noises here))
I wanted to die. i'm such a bitch. a drunk bitch at that.
I wanted to die. i'm such a bitch. a drunk bitch at that.
Bathroom stall free's up. I walk towards it. I look at her and say: Oops, I thought you missed your lips and got it on your forehead. I will be in the stall until you leave.
I waited in the stall. no lie. i was there for at least 15 minutes... just waiting. I was really afraid she was going to hit me.
I never saw her again. thank god.
So--- ladies, if you see someone with a red birthmark on their face or body... its not lipstick okay! Don't say I didn't warn you!
Kisses! Steph
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