FYI. Ft. Myers is not by Ft. Lauderdale.

Ahhh... the Ft. Lauderdale party days. Those were the best. Especially when I was single and poor. Free drinks for ladies! Why yes, I will drive 40 min to go drink all night, and risk my life driving back!
(man, was I a dumb college kid)

A typical Saturday night, my friend and I decide we will go to Ft. Lauderdale at night to party. She had been volunteering for some volleyball tournament during the day, and had mentioned the guys in FT. Lauderdale were hot, and that we def had to go out there to check them out.

Done. I really am very easy to convince.

We drive out to Ft. Lauderdale, and start the night bar hopping at Las Olas. The night is going very well! drinking for free, mingling with many volleyball players, it was great!

Then we meet an entire team of players. Super nice guys! Especially one in particular, Mike. He explains to me they are staying in town until Sunday and that we should get together the next day. The next day? Why not hang out all night??

<<At this point I'm on a different planet, free drinks are really dangerous>>

He looks around, and explains to me he is with his entire team, and they came on a bus, and had to go back to their hotel before midnight. Coach's rules.

Rules??? What rules! That sucks! Tell your coach I will take you to your hotel! Where are you guys staying?

He replies: Ft. Myers

In my head: Ft. Myers means somewhere near Ft. Lauderdale. It starts with FT. It must be near.

Me: Yea! That's fine! Tell him you'll be at the hotel like at 3am!

He turns to his team members, confused, and tells them I have offered to drive him to the hotel. The coach argues with him, telling him its not a good idea because of the distance, and I have been drinking. (Adults are always right, listen to them!)

I convince the guy I'm fine, and I will not drink anymore just so I can drive him back! (lies)

The team and coach give in, and they leave the bar.

Finally, I can talk to Mike in peace, and ask him stupid volleyball questions, that I can honestly care less about.

<< somewhere around this point, my friend leaves me and goes back to Miami, I stay in Ft. Lauderdale alone>>

3am rolls around. I'm exhausted. I explain to Mike that my house is closer than his hotel, and maybe he should just spend the night on the couch and I will take him to the hotel at 8 am! Bright and early.

He agrees. Honestly, I think he agrees bc the ENTIRE night he had been mentioning how far they had driven just to get to Las Olas, and I wasn't getting it in my head that it's NOT NEAR.

What tourist is gonna tell me what's near and what's far? They don't know anything! I'm from Florida, and I KNOW Ft. Lauderdale, and FT. MYERS are 20 min from each other.

I make it home. He sleeps on the couch. I wake up at 8 as I had promised him. My head is pounding. I take 4 Advil's.

I get on the expressway, and I have NO CLUE where I'm going. (this is also before GPS)

I dial a friend. My only lifeline.

me: Caro, Where is ft. Myers?

I hear her laugh

Caro: Steph, That's about 2- 2.5 hours west.

WHAT!

Yea.

She explains to me how to get there on the phone. i'm sooooooo angry. mostly at myself for being an asshole. I obv don't know where Ft. Myers is, and now I have to spend 4 hours of my life driving this guy to the other end of the world, to meet his team, before they leave him!

FML.

I drive. I drive to freaking ft. Myers. I drive so fast, I get there in under 2 hours.
I drop Mike off, I pull away, I hit a pole. My Jag has a yellow streak on it. I don't care.

I call Caro again, she's at Jimbo's birthday party.

I tell her I'm on my way to meet her. I drive STRAIGHT from Ft.Myers to Key Biscayne. I make it there in 2 hours.

I never spoke about this incident again for a long time because I was so mad at myself.

Note to self: If it starts with FT. it's far. Just say no. Stay away.